Painful Love Ends: How a Church Sermon Helped Me Breakup with My Abusive Boyfriend

This is the story of finding strength amidst heartbreak, fear, and the journey to break free from abuse.

In the world of romance and relationships, change is inevitable, and not every love story reaches a happy conclusion. Some take unexpected turns, revealing tough lessons along the way.

Church Sermon Helped Me Breakup with My Abusive Boyfriend
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Truetalk shares raw and authentic accounts of individuals who have experienced the bitter end of once-promising relationships.

How a Church Sermon Helped Me Breakup with My Abusive Boyfriend

Meet a woman who found the courage to break away from an abusive relationship that lasted 13 agonizing months.

How did you two meet?

He came to my workplace for a transaction, but I later realized he just wanted my number.

What initially drew you to him?

He seemed reserved, responsible, and put-together, which I liked. I felt comfortable around him and we started as friends. I could be myself with him and share everything.

Read also: Painful Love End: When genotype made me lose the love of my life

Were there any red flags?

Yes. One of the first signs was his jealousy. I run a business and interact with men regularly, which made him jealous. It got worse—he’d check my phone, decide who I could talk to, and even delete contacts. He blocked most of my friends on social media, even non-male ones, saying I shouldn’t be friends with single people.

boyfriend accusing girlfriend of cheting
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What other challenges did you face in the relationship?

Our arguments often started over small things, like my phone use or who I spoke to. They’d escalate quickly, and he never listened to me.

Did these arguments ever turn physical?

Yes. He accused me of cheating using apps like Gmail and Calendar and wanted me to delete them. When I refused, he smashed my phone and pushed me around, leaving bruises. I couldn’t talk to my family for a while because I had no phone.

It took time, but I finally realized I needed to leave for my own safety.

How did you cope with these challenges?

Realizing we needed help, I reached out to a therapist, even though it was costly. Initially resistant, he eventually agreed to share the cost. While the first therapy session seemed promising, we soon found ourselves arguing again. When I suggested going back, he refused, claiming the first session was pointless if it didn’t work.

Things worsened as he turned to alcohol, sometimes coming home drunk and forcing me into unwanted sexual encounters. Despite my confrontations, he’d often cry and beg for forgiveness, leading me to forgive him out of pity.

Can you elaborate on the severity of the abuse?

The last incident occurred during an argument at home. He became enraged because I hadn’t finished cleaning while he was out getting measured at the tailor’s. Though I explained I was still working on it, he accused me of watching TV instead. He stormed out and returned at 2 am, refusing to sleep in our bed. The next day, tensions remained high, and when I said I was going to work and then my apartment, I had to video call him to prove my whereabouts.

Upon returning to his place later that evening, hoping for reconciliation, he accused me of lying. As I gathered my belongings to leave, he threatened to hit me with a power bank, and when I dared him, he threw it at me. He locked the door, and as I tried to leave, he assaulted me. My sister, outside and alarmed, intervened, but he pushed her aside and continued hitting me. Eventually, he locked me out of the room, making it difficult to find a ride home in the midnight hour. The next morning, I returned to retrieve my belongings.

How did you eventually end the relationship?

african_lady_in_church_listening_to message
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After a church visit with my sister, a sermon on abuse struck me deeply. The pastor’s words resonated, highlighting how many endure hoping their partners will change. It was a wake-up call. The day I decided to leave, I attended a party with friends, finding solace in distraction. When my ex confronted me about an innocent interaction on Instagram, I knew it was over. Despite his threats, I blocked him and confided in my sister and friends for support.

What was life like after the breakup?

Though I’m in a new relationship, the emotional scars linger, haunting me with PTSD.

Reflecting on your experience, what advice would you offer to others facing similar situations?

To anyone trapped in an abusive relationship, I urge you to find the strength to leave. It may seem daunting, but there is always hope for a better tomorrow. Abuse is never acceptable, and seeking help is the first step towards reclaiming your life and happiness.

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