This week, Jenny, who is nearly 30 and ready for marriage, is grappling with the fact that her boyfriend only texts her once a week.
The Question: My boyfriend barely calls or messages me. He texts about once a week, and he doesn’t like it when I call or want to talk on the phone more. He excuses his behavior by saying it’s been a long time since his last relationship, and he doesn’t know how to make things work.
He keeps telling me to be patient, but I haven’t seen any improvement. He also uses his financial situation as an excuse. He doesn’t have a job, so he has a lot of worries about money. While he isn’t violent or cheating, I feel like I’m in a one-sided relationship.
One time, I got fed up and broke up with him, but everyone told me I overreacted. So, when he messaged me again asking to get back together, I agreed. However, nothing has changed. He doesn’t seem to care about my feelings or needs. I’m not materialistic, and I’ve never complained about him not giving me gifts, but it would be nice to get something once in a while. I am holding on to the hope that things will miraculously improve. I’m seriously praying about us, and although I told him I’d wait for him to get his act together, it doesn’t seem like he’s making any effort. How can I know if he’s improving if he doesn’t even talk to me?
I’m turning 30 soon, and I never imagined my relationship would be like this. On top of everything else, he doesn’t want to get a job because he claims his mental health can’t handle the Nigerian work system. It’s a mess. What should I do?
Expert’s Response:
Dear Maria,
It’s entirely normal to feel a mix of societal expectations and personal desires, especially as you approach 30. But here’s the key: marriage is about finding the right partner to build a fulfilling life with, on your own terms. You shouldn’t settle for anything less than someone who complements your goals and makes you truly happy.
Regarding your boyfriend’s lack of communication, this is a common issue in many relationships. Many men don’t see the need to communicate with their girlfriends regularly. However, communication is essential in any relationship. How can you connect with someone you barely talk to? If you were okay with his limited communication, that would be different, but you’re not. Your needs aren’t being met, and that’s a red flag since your needs deserve to be fulfilled, not ignored.
It’s also worrying that he doesn’t want to get a job. Even without considering the financial implications — times are tough and things are expensive — he should still make time to call you. The fact that he doesn’t even buy you gifts is another concern. A partner who gives thoughtful gifts can make you feel cherished, and you deserve that, especially if you give thoughtful gifts too.
Ask yourself honestly: Are you settling for less because you’re worried you won’t find someone better? Let your answer guide your decision.
Remember, you deserve a partner who values you and meets your emotional needs. Don’t compromise your happiness and future for someone who isn’t making an effort to improve the relationship.
Read also:
- Blessing CEO Opens Up About Dislike for Nkechi Blessing
- Netizens React as 21-Year-Old Woman Says She’s Been Intimate with 36 Men, Labels Them ‘Unserious’
- Carelessness, Negligence Behind Nollywood Actors’ Incessant Deaths – Patience Ozokwor
- Iyabo Ojo Responds to ‘Ancient of Days’ Remark with Gen Z Challenge Video
- Singer Rema Reportedly Paid $3 Million to Perform at Mukesh Ambani’s Son’s Wedding
- Ayra Starr Discusses Why Tems Often Ignores Her Calls (Video)
- Tragedy in Jos as School Building Collapses on Exam Students
- Tinubu Names National Theatre After Wole Soyinka
- #ENDSARS: DJ Switch Responds to ECOWAS Court Ruling
- Nigerian Man Goes Viral After Kneeling to Beg Lady for Her Phone Number
- 5 Easy Things to Do When You’re Bored
- How to Feel Confident if You Struggle with Low Self-Esteem
- ‘I am not afraid’ – Phrank Shaibu Corrects Minister’s Spoken English Error
- Supreme Court Grants Financial Autonomy to Local Governments
